I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just blew my weed a kiss
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
