Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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