in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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