there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
