I got chris browned last night
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
