My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
