AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
