Only a mothe r could love this liver
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
