that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
