Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
