Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Randomize
