Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
