Me too!
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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