um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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