I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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