its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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