its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
