What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
