So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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