he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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