I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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