um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
