return my video game
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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