Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
