So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
