ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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