Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
