why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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