So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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