i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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