At least make sure they are 18
Why
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Verdict: uncircumcised.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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