I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
