It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
