I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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