Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
should my penis look like a turkey
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
