Umm I'm too high to move.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
