I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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