Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
