I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
