Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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