Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
