So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
