Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
