your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
