stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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