its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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