Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My vagina is very pro this idea
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
