she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
