we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i out mim tonsoeep
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