I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize